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Narcissism presents a paradox in psychology, characterized by extremes in both positive and negative behaviors. According to W. Keith Campbell, interacting with narcissists is akin to indulging in chocolate cake—initially gratifying but ultimately detrimental. Narcissists exude charisma and self-confidence, making them appealing at first. Research by Mitja Back and colleagues identifies four traits contributing to this allure: attractiveness, competence, interpersonal warmth, and humor.These traits initially render narcissists more popular due to their expressive and dominant behaviors, which trigger positive evaluations.
However, this initial charm fades as relationships progress. Campbell and Stacy Campbell’s model of narcissism divides interactions into the “emerging zone” (initial, short-term contexts) and the “enduring zone” (long-term, continuing relationships). In the enduring zone, narcissists exhibit negative behaviors like arrogance and aggression, leading to a decline in their popularity. Narcissists tend to return to the emerging zone to seek the positive social feedback and emotional rush they crave, thus being adept at gaining new friends and social status but poor at maintaining meaningful relationships.
Delroy Paulhus’ study supports this model. He found that narcissists were initially perceived positively, described as assertive, confident, entertaining, and intelligent. However, over seven weeks, these perceptions turned negative, with narcissists being seen as arrogant, boastful, and hostile. Mitja Back and colleagues further explored this phenomenon through the “Narcissistic Admiration and Rivalry Concept,” which posits that narcissists maintain a grandiose self-image through two pathways: admiration (assertive self-enhancement) and rivalry (antagonistic self-protection). Their study involving 311 college students revealed that initial popularity due to narcissistic admiration declines over time as narcissistic rivalry increases.
This dynamic has significant implications for interpersonal relationships. Narcissists may win in the emerging zone but struggle in sustained relationships, often reporting less commitment and experiencing more frequent marriages and divorces. W. Keith Campbell notes that relationships with narcissists typically deteriorate after four months. Therefore, it’s crucial to observe individuals in various contexts before deepening a relationship, as different contexts may trigger either positive or negative pathways in narcissists.
Changing a narcissist’s behavior is challenging. Erika Carlson and colleagues found that narcissists are aware of the negative perceptions others have of them and even take pride in traits like arrogance. Narcissists have high self-esteem for agentic traits (e.g., assertiveness, intelligence) but only average self-esteem for communal values (e.g., intimacy, affiliation).
This issue isn’t limited to grandiose narcissism. Vulnerable narcissism, a quieter form characterized by emotional instability and introversion, also impacts relationships. Joshua Miller and W. Keith Campbell found that while both grandiose and vulnerable narcissists exhibit antagonism and entitlement, they differ in personality, behavior, and psychopathology. Grandiose narcissists are emotionally resilient and extraverted, whereas vulnerable narcissists experience high interpersonal distress and negative self-representations.
For narcissists, their behavior is often self-sabotaging, preventing them from forming deep, fulfilling relationships. Clinicians might help narcissists by toning down their antagonistic traits while fostering their positive attributes. This research emphasizes the need for a collaborative scientific approach to understand the social consequences of personality better. Accurate first impressions are vital for successful interactions and relationships, highlighting the importance of recognizing underlying personality dispositions to foster healthy relationships.
However, this initial charm fades as relationships progress. Campbell and Stacy Campbell’s model of narcissism divides interactions into the “emerging zone” (initial, short-term contexts) and the “enduring zone” (long-term, continuing relationships). In the enduring zone, narcissists exhibit negative behaviors like arrogance and aggression, leading to a decline in their popularity. Narcissists tend to return to the emerging zone to seek the positive social feedback and emotional rush they crave, thus being adept at gaining new friends and social status but poor at maintaining meaningful relationships.
Delroy Paulhus’ study supports this model. He found that narcissists were initially perceived positively, described as assertive, confident, entertaining, and intelligent. However, over seven weeks, these perceptions turned negative, with narcissists being seen as arrogant, boastful, and hostile. Mitja Back and colleagues further explored this phenomenon through the “Narcissistic Admiration and Rivalry Concept,” which posits that narcissists maintain a grandiose self-image through two pathways: admiration (assertive self-enhancement) and rivalry (antagonistic self-protection). Their study involving 311 college students revealed that initial popularity due to narcissistic admiration declines over time as narcissistic rivalry increases.
This dynamic has significant implications for interpersonal relationships. Narcissists may win in the emerging zone but struggle in sustained relationships, often reporting less commitment and experiencing more frequent marriages and divorces. W. Keith Campbell notes that relationships with narcissists typically deteriorate after four months. Therefore, it’s crucial to observe individuals in various contexts before deepening a relationship, as different contexts may trigger either positive or negative pathways in narcissists.
Changing a narcissist’s behavior is challenging. Erika Carlson and colleagues found that narcissists are aware of the negative perceptions others have of them and even take pride in traits like arrogance. Narcissists have high self-esteem for agentic traits (e.g., assertiveness, intelligence) but only average self-esteem for communal values (e.g., intimacy, affiliation).
This issue isn’t limited to grandiose narcissism. Vulnerable narcissism, a quieter form characterized by emotional instability and introversion, also impacts relationships. Joshua Miller and W. Keith Campbell found that while both grandiose and vulnerable narcissists exhibit antagonism and entitlement, they differ in personality, behavior, and psychopathology. Grandiose narcissists are emotionally resilient and extraverted, whereas vulnerable narcissists experience high interpersonal distress and negative self-representations.
For narcissists, their behavior is often self-sabotaging, preventing them from forming deep, fulfilling relationships. Clinicians might help narcissists by toning down their antagonistic traits while fostering their positive attributes. This research emphasizes the need for a collaborative scientific approach to understand the social consequences of personality better. Accurate first impressions are vital for successful interactions and relationships, highlighting the importance of recognizing underlying personality dispositions to foster healthy relationships.
